Jack & Mommy

Cara
Jack is 3. His mom is 20-something. Jack says funny things. His mom types them here for you to enjoy.
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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

postheadericon Random silliness.

He might grow up to be a zoologist
"Mommy, what does a jaguar say?"
"I don't know baby, what?"
............
............
"Mommy I want Goldfish!"
"WHAT! Is that what a jaguar says?!"
"haha.... nooooooo."

...Or maybe a fashion designer:
"Hey Jack, do you like this shirt?"
"ummm.... yes. You could wear a purple shirt too!"
"You think I should wear a purple shirt?"
"Yep!"
<I go change into a purple shirt>
"Is this better?"
"Um.... yes!"

...But probably not an entomologist:
"Mommy, look at all doze ants!"
"I see them! Do you want to hold one?"
"NOOOO! Dey are soooo cweepy!"

Can't argue there.
Thursday, April 25, 2013

postheadericon He's a genius.

Jack: "Meowww"
Dan: "Jackson, don't meow. You're not a cat. What do you want?"
Jack: "I want to hold you! ...... meow" (translation: "I want you to hold me")
Dan: "Stop meowing. What do you say?"
Jack, clearly defeated: "Okay I won't meow. I am not a kitty."

Wisest words of the day:
"SASSAFRASS AND HERPADERP!!"
Saturday, April 20, 2013

postheadericon No, it's not!

Jackie Dude is big on correcting us. I guess he doesn't realize that I've been around for a while and know a few things. I remember being a teenager and thinking I knew everything. This dude is only 2. The teenage years should be loads of fun. Hah!

"Hey mom, look at deez hooks!"
"Those hooks are called 'question marks'."
<Insert angry eyebrows> "NO MOM! Dey're not 'question marks'. Dey're hooks!"
"Oh. Okay then."

A few minutes later...

"Mommy, what are doze hooks called?"
"Question marks, baby."
<Insert quizzical look>
"Okay, so you know how you can write your name?"
"...I dunno."
"Um. Okay, so you can write your name. But you can also write all kinds of stuff. If you write down a question, you put a question mark at the end."
<More quizzical looks> "Hmm.... ooohhhhh. ....... MOMMY! IT'S SNOWIN OUTSIDE!"
"Heh... yes it is."
Friday, April 19, 2013

postheadericon Remember when...?

Big J likes to reminisce on the good old days.

"Hey daddy. Remember when you went to the DMV?" (Two weeks ago, Dad went to the DMV to renew his license.)
"Remember when we went to Steak & Shake?" (Yep, that was literally an hour ago.)
"MOMMY! Remember when I puked at school?" (Yes, and I'm glad I wasn't there to see it.)
"Remember when my gramma and grampa picked me up from school?" (Dad's parents... more than 3 months ago)

I hope he always wants to "remember when".
Wednesday, April 17, 2013

postheadericon Of Teamwork and Trash

After I made fun of a McDonald's drive-thru sign advertising that future employees could look forward to great incentives like PART TIME! BENEFITS! CAREERS! TEAMWORK!:

"No mommy, teamwork is only for da Wonder Pets."

Oh yeah... I forgot only Lenny, Tuck, and Ming-Ming can partake in teamwork. My bad.



On the topic of Trash Day:

"Da garbage trucks will come and take allllll da people's trash to da dump. And den when da trash is all done at da dump, da garbage trucks will bring it back to our house!"
"No, babe. The trash stays at the dump."
"Oooohhhh yeah, we don't want dat stanky trash back at our house."
"No. No we do not."

Monday, April 15, 2013

postheadericon Tough guy / Funny baby

"Come at me, bro! Let's fight!" (He then proceeds to slapfight with his dad)


I found this old school video of Jack being his goofy, happy self.

Friday, April 12, 2013

postheadericon Let's play catch-up to get you all up to speed.

April 4, 2013

"Hey daddy! I farted on mommy!"

April 6, 2013

"Hey Jack, whatcha doing?"
"Playin' wif Mister Potato Chips' teef!"



April 9, 2013

Jack: "Hey mom, what color is dis race car?"
Mom: "Silver"
Jack: "Yep! What color is daddy's red race car?"
Mom: "Um... red?"
Jack: "Yep! You're super smart!"
Mom: "Oh, thanks!"

Today

(Referring to his sweatshirt that has a moose on it): "Mommy, a moose is NOT a cow, okay!?"
(Later while watching "his" Canadian geese that hang out near his school): "Watch out gooses! You will get squished by a cool race car!"